The Break-Up Psychic:Book #1 in the Dangerously Dimpled series: Ellie has a bad habit of picking the wrong man; a cheating ex-boyfriend, a mild-mannered foot fetishist, and let’s not forget about the hillbilly with the impolite hard-on. But when Sam James, the oh-so-hot bad boy Ellie has sworn to stay away from, keeps turning up like a bad penny, she’s going to need more than her psychic senses to see what’s coming her way.
Chapter 1
I think I might be a little bit psychic. I can’t predict the winning lottery numbers and I won’t be starting a hotline any time soon, but I can spot a breakup coming days, even weeks ahead of time. I admit there’re always little clues before the big break, but it’s more a feeling I have. It’s something in my gut that says, ‘Get out the chocolate and Jane Austen – this one’s going to be a doozey.’
I’ve been down this road before. Ellie meets boy. Boy seduces with promises of commitment. Ellie falls in love with boy. Boy turns out to be a scum-bucket. Right now my psychic senses are telling me my boyfriend, Tim, may be scum-capable. Alright, he hasn’t actually done anything to warrant my suspicion, but that in and of itself is curious. For a guy with a naturally naughty disposition, he’s been acting like a damn choirboy. Four times last week I came home to fresh flowers. Every girl knows receiving flowers once in a while means, “I love you,” and getting them four times in one week means, “Sorry I screwed my secretary.”
There’s also the issue of his sudden disinterest in foreplay. He used to take his time on me, brushing his hands over my body and whispering dirty words against my neck until I was floating off the bed. But lately he’s claimed to be, “too bushed for foreplay tonight, Babe.” Last week I even offered to do that ‘special thing.’ That which is normally reserved for birthdays and anniversaries, and he turned me down in favor of watching the Rangers play the Mariners. No guy turns down that to watch four hours of baseball on TV.
For these reasons and others, my psychic warning bells have kept up a persistent clanging in my ears. Even though he smiles and soothes and assures me of his love, I can’t stop doubting him. It’s making me crazy. I feel like I’m turning into Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction. I’m one flower delivery shy of making rabbit stew for dinner and practicing holding my breath under water. I feel ridiculous and disgusting for not trusting him, but in the depths of my soul I know he’s out there somewhere, sucking face with a bleach blond bimbo with big Texas hair and more boobs than brains. And that sucks because this time I thought things were going to be different. This time I thought I’d found the guy who was going to give me my H.E.A.—Happily Ever After.
I blame my father for my trust issues with men. It’s no coincidence I received my psychic gift on the same morning he walked out on Mama and me. When I was six he began taking a keen interest in my schooling and in my twenty-four year old kindergarten teacher, as it turned out. I’ll never forget the anguish in my mom’s eyes when she told me he’d left us. I wish I could say that the experience toughened me up, put me on my guard, but the truth is that surviving heartbreak was a lesson I had to learn for myself. And boy, have I been educated in the twenty-one years since.
Maybe if things had been different. Maybe if my dad had loved my mom, and I’d been more careful about who I gave my heart to, I would never have heard these stupid bells. But that’s not the way things happened. I’ve loved too much, lost too often, and know too well. I know the breakup’s coming, and I know somewhere nearby, there’s a big-boob bimbo getting all of my good foreplay.
The Break-Up Psychic
Book #1 in the Dangerously Dimpled series
By Emily Hemmer
Review by Christina Mock
4.5 Stars
Emily Hemmer, you are freaking hilarious. Case in point:
I admit there’re always little clues before the big break, but it’s more a feeling I have. It’s something in my gut that says, ‘Get out the chocolate and Jane Austen – this one’s going to be a doozey.’
Four times last week I came home to fresh flowers. Every girl knows receiving flowers once in a while means, “I love you,” and getting them four times in one week means, “Sorry I screwed my secretary.”
It’s making me crazy. I feel like I’m turning into Glenn Close’s character in Fatal Attraction. I’m one flower delivery shy of making rabbit stew for dinner and practicing holding my breath under water.
I know the breakup’s coming, and I know somewhere nearby, there’s a big-boob bimbo getting all of my good foreplay.
And oh yeah, that’s just in the first FIVE PAGES!!!
Ellie has a self-proclaimed “gift”. She knows when a relationship isn’t going to work. Not just others relationships, but hers as well. She hears “sirens” go off when it becomes clear that a relationship is not going to make it. A lot of times, this really can be a gift, but she is not always one to listen to her own alarm bells. Ellie doesn’t have the best luck with men and her latest break up has left her unable to trust them. She swears off her “type”, the bad boy, until she meets Sam, the owner of a local auto repair garage. Ellie is wounded and Sam has secrets, not always the recipe for the basis of a successful relationship.
In addition to being genuinely funny, the characters are quirky and the chemistry is hot! As Ellie and Sam’s relationship picks up speed, it gets downright steamy!
Ms. Hemmer is great at bringing a touch of “real life” to the romance novel, because let’s be honest, sometimes sex and relationships can be not only funny, but awkward as well.
I liked seeing how Ellie was able to reclaim some of her self-worth after her break up with her ex. Ellie has a lot of self-doubt, mostly because she comes from a working class background. Her ex, the cheater, is well to do. Ellie never felt as though she really was a part of his world. She truly changes over the course of events as she learns from her mistakes and sees things for what they really are.
It is seeing the dynamic between her, Sam, her co-workers Amber and Brook, that you really get a feel for her personality, and just how much more comfortable she is outside of the relationship of the cheating louse. It is really a refreshing transformation.
I give The Break-Up Psychic 4.5 stars. It was very well written, and was a fast, easy read. I can’t wait until the next installment, the novella Just One. I do hope that we see more of Sam & Ellie in subsequent books. I love their chemistry as a couple and am eager to know how their relationship progresses!
Christina Mock
11/14/13
Just One: Book #1.5 in the Dangerously Dimpled Series: Charlie would like nothing more than to trade her high heels for a pair of old cowboy boots, but her high society sister has got other plans. Lucky for Charlie, a thorny bush broke her fall when she went tail over tits in the hydrangea, and Alex Ramirez showed up to lend a helping hand. What’s a country girl to do when her knight in shining armor turns out to be a rich boy with a mysterious agenda, and two panty dropping dimples? Two star-crossed lovers, one hotel room, and a really naughty leather belt. Maybe Charlie should get out of Harlow County more often.
*This is a novelette length work (4 chapters/14K words approx), and is the prequel to book 2 in the Dangrously Dimpled Series, Plus None. Also, it’s very hot. Sizzle.
We come to a stop near the middle of the garden’s grassy floor. The spongy Kentucky blue feels like kitten fur against my sore soles. It’s a good thing he removed the stilettos. I would’ve sunk like quicksand trying to dance on this lawn.
Alex brings me in close, his free hand rests low on my hip. I allow him to guide me, to tug me forward until our bodies make contact. It’s like getting zapped with a stun gun. I turn my head toward his chest and am faced with the open collar of his button down shirt. His skin is smooth and I can feel the hard ridge of muscle beneath his clothes. I follow his lead, my hips moving side to side, my brain about to short circuit from the friction between us.
“Are you headed home tonight or are you staying at the hotel?”
I’ve been so focused on the pressure of his hand against my back, his voice startles me. “I’m, uh, staying overnight. Paige got me a room.”
“That’s nice.”
“Don’t be so sure. If I know my baby sister at all, it’s part of her master plan to get me out of Harlow.”
“How so?”
Alex’s breath tickles the top of my head. I’m afraid to look up because I know the only thing keeping my lips off those dimples is simple geography. “She’s got some crazy notion I’m too good for that place. Her mission is to sway me toward greener pastures by showing me how the other half lives.”
“I take it you remain unconvinced?” The hand holding me to him draws me nearer. His fingers tap out a melody against the small of my back, and two years of pent-up sexual frustration bubbles to the surface.
I lean against him and close my eyes. His cologne smells expensive and exotic. I press into him, undone by his closeness. “I just don’t belong here is all.”
He brushes his lips against the sleeked-down hair on the top of my head, sending thunder down under. “You seem like you fit in okay to me.”
“This isn’t me; this is all Paige. The hair, the dress, the shoes, all her doing. I’m not fancy like her. I’m simple, plain old Charlie.”
Alex stops moving, pulling just far enough away to look down at me. “We just met, and you are surely many things, but simple isn’t one of them.”
In the dimly lit garden, his eyes look almost black. I lick my lips, my mouth dry from quick breaths. His gaze follows the movement and the hand on my back forces me flush against him.
Just One
Book #1.5 in the Dangerously Dimpled Series
By Emily Hemmer
Review by Christina Mock
5 Stars
In the words of the illustrious George Takei, OH MYYYYYY!
Phew! I’m gonna get my own southern girl on and sit a right spell with my glass of sweet tea…this book is HAWT. *fans self *
Just One is a novella that introduces us to the characters of Charlie (Charlotte) and Alex. Charlie is a small town girl from a trailer park who works out in the oil fields alongside her father. She doesn’t ask much of others, for she is the glue that has kept her family together after the death of her mother when she was a pre-teen. On the other hand, there is Paige, her younger sister that is pretty much the exact opposite of Charlie. Paige was a sorority girl in college and has managed to snag a young rich beau, her ticket out of small town Harlow County. While not necessarily embarrassed by her upbringing, she is certainly not proud.
It is at the swanky party for Paige’s 23rd birthday that Charlie meets the mysterious Alex Ramirez. What begins as a wild night of unbridled passion turns into something much deeper. But Alex has a big secret and Charlie ran the next morning, this certainly isn’t shaping up for a happily ever after!
I absolutely adore the chemistry between Charlie and Alex; I just wish Alex might grow a little bigger cajones in order to deal with some of his snooty friends that look down their noses at Charlie. Ms. Hemmer has painted Charlie as an endearing, passionate, beautiful woman who often puts the needs of others before her own. Seeing all of the crap that Charlie has to deal with at the hands of those who deem themselves better than her, I am rooting for her, big time.
Five stars hands down for this one, although I have to admit, I was ready to strip all of the stars way as I got to the end. I was at 99% finished and I had a huge fear that we wouldn’t see any resolution, only to see that Charlie and Alex are going to get their own full-length novel, Plus None. You don’t realize how happy that makes me; I know I’m looking forward to spending several more hours with Alex Ramirez!
Christina Mock
11/14/13
Plus None: Book #2 in the Dangerously Dimpled Series : Keeping her loud, redneck family in line for seventeen years has been no easy feat for Charlie Davies, but she’s managed to carve out a life for herself in the quiet crazy of her hometown. That is, until her baby sister announces she’s marrying a country-club boy from the bright lights of Dallas. Charlie’s got two months to defeat her sister’s she-demon Maid of Honor, keep her cousins from ruining the nuptials, and decide whether her one-time, one-night stand Alex Ramirez is worth a second chance.
Alex has thought of almost nothing but Charlie for two years, since the morning he woke up alone in her empty hotel room. Her sister’s upcoming wedding to his best friend seems like the perfect opportunity to reconnect with the girl who got away, but he underestimates her pull on him and soon finds himself torn between love and duty.
With the wedding fast approaching, Alex and Charlie’s relationship will be put to the test. Hillbillies, debutantes, and the old southern divide of rich and poor threaten to keep them apart. One thing’s for sure, it’s about to get interesting in Harlow County.
Plus None teaser (there are teasers for each book on the website):
Alex, seemingly unnerved by four pair of blue eyes boring into him, steps closer. “Is there someplace we can talk?”
His eyes shift to Brook. The Botox effectively masks her shock but her mouth has been hanging open so long, I’m worried she may start to drool.
I move away from the counter on shaky legs. “In the back.”
Alex walks around Brook and waits for me. Her head follows him like a blind dog follows sound. We make our way to the back room. My hands shake as I pull the thin cotton curtain closed behind us, leaving my three stunned aunts to man the bakery.
He’s standing very close to me. Dressed in a smart white button-up and navy slacks. He looks every bit as delicious as he did the last time I saw him. My mouth is so dry I have to try twice to force words out. “Hi,” I manage.
“Hi.” He smiles warmly at me.
I return his smile uncertainly and two roguish dimples tease me. “What are you doing here?”
Alex looks around the small room. “I was nearby and thought I’d stop in. Say hello.”
“You were in Harlow?”
“Nearby,” he says. “I heard about the bakery and I thought it might be nice to check it out. See you again.”
Last time Alex Ramirez saw me, he saw all of me. “Paige told you?”
Alex nods. “She’s proud of you. Though, I think she’s a little raw you didn’t want to follow her footsteps out of here.”
Paige has never understood my loyalty to this place. It was during one of her many attempts to lure me to the bright lights of Dallas that I met Alex. It was the only time her plan even came close to succeeding.
“I think you may be right. We’re so different. Sometimes I think she must’ve been delivered to the wrong house by a drunk stork.”
His laugh sends vibrations running through me. “And your dad? I hear he’s still working in the fields. How’s he managing that and having an empty nest?”
So he knows I bought the bakery and he knows I moved out. I let my inner trailer park do some talking. “You’ve been keeping tabs on me?”
His eyes settle on my mouth for the space of two heartbeats. I bite my bottom lip, a nervous habit.
“I’ve kept my ears open. I’m happy for you, Charlie. I remember how much you wanted this place.”
The intimacy of his words makes me uncomfortable. “I’m surprised you remember.”
“I remember a lot about that night.” He doesn’t bother to be covert, but looks me up and down.
The intensity of his gaze leaves a trail of hot, flushed skin in its wake. He closes more distance between us. “I remember the color on your cheeks when I stripped you of that towel.”
I gasp, shocked by his words.
“I remember the smell of your skin from your interrupted bubble bath.”
Another half step and he’s within inches of me. I don’t look up but stare instead at the collar of his shirt, a familiar view.
Alex leans forward, his mouth almost against my ear. When he whispers, the words tickle the skin on my neck. “I remember how you tasted.”
I sway on the spot and he places firm hands on my hips. “You’re always falling around me,” he says, softly.
Plus None
Book #2 in the Dangerously Dimpled Series
By Emily Hemmer
Review by Christina Mock
5 Stars
Good lord. Emily Hemmer has gone and done it again. Just when I thought the relationship between Charlie and Alex couldn’t get any hotter; she went and proved me wrong!
Plus None picks up about two years after Just One ends. Out of the blue, Charlie receives a visit from Alex, whom she hasn’t seen since the morning she walked out of the hotel room. It turns out Alex has very much wanted to contact Charlie, however he is still harboring a very big secret; a secret that could keep them from realizing a happily ever after.
Charlie is no longing working in the oil fields. She has finally realized her dream and has opened her own bakery. While not making a ton of money, she is staying afloat, with quite a bit of help from her family, her aunts in particular (who bring a TON of comic relief to the story!). Charlie’s sister Paige is planning her wedding to Ken and much of the plot revolves around that storyline in one way or another.
In Plus None, we see the return of Brook (the owner of Brook’s Bath Shop) who happens to be Charlie’s aunt. Also, Amber, our favorite witch, is back. She’s a resident of the same building as Charlie’s bakery and apartment. I freaking love the interaction between these characters! While not necessarily central to the storyline, these relationships just strengthen the small town feel of the book, as well as set up for even more storylines for future books.
The heat between Charlie and Alex ramps up even more, and the tension between the two is palpable. While there is a lot of humor in this installment of our story, it seems that Ms. Hemmer has started to evolve as a writer. The first book,
The Break-Up Psychic depended on humor for a bulk of the storyline, however by the third volume, Ms. Hemmer’s writing has become deeper and more descriptive. She has mastered mixing the comedy with the heat and emotion, and has presented us with not only a storyline that is hard to forget, but characters that have become addictive as well. (To say that Alex is swoon-worthy would be an understatement!)
Plus None is another five star effort. Like Ms. Hemmer’s other books, it is well written and a quick, enjoyable read. My only issue with this volume is how long are we going to have to wait for the next installment, and whose story are we going to hear next?!? We need more Harlow County!
Christina Mock
11/16/13
Emily Hemmer was raised in the Northwest suburbs of Chicago before settling in Kansas City in 1996. She was raised in a house full of women and can therefore shower, blow-dry her hair, and apply full makeup in twenty minutes flat. A huge fan of romantic comedies, Emily was overjoyed to learn that her college roommate could recite every word of the movie ‘Clueless,’ until she realized that was the only VHS tape her roommate owned. Emily dropped out of college and to this day, blames the listless years of her twenties on the words, “As if!” She completed her degree after an extended eleven-year semester break.
Married in 1998, Emily and her husband ‘Mr. T’ have two beautiful children now entering their teenage years. Her mother assures her that these years are not meant as punishment for parents, but as a source of great hilarity and recompense for grandparents. A sweet yellow lab, a jerk-face Viszla puppy, and an evil Siamese cat make up the rest of the family.
In October 2012, Emily learned she came in 2nd place for the SFARWA ‘s Heart-to-Heart contest (for contemporary single title romance) for her first work, The Break-Up Psychic. This work has been a true labor of love and is the basis for all of Emily’s future happiness. But she’s trying not to put too much pressure on herself.
According to her Yahoo! Shine horoscope for 2013, this year looks to be the best of Emily’s life. She has plans to publish three books, win countless accolades from her peers, and literally roll around on a bed made of money. She also plans to purchase a new dishwasher.
